Regrets only apply when we don’t learn from situations, and situations lead to experiences.

Hi Superstar,

What is your biggest regret? Have you ever pondered on a failed project, career mistake, layoff or even a past process of resignation?

I have, several times. In one instance, I kept regretting all the things I did wrong. I hardly had a productive day, I was so fixated at my mistakes that I didn’t see the lessons behind it. As a result, I lost 4,320 hours reminiscing about an event that could never change instead of learning and redirecting my actions. Life will continue to repeat its lessons until they are learnt. Until then, you will find yourself living the same situations, just in different phases.

There are no regrets in this life, only lessons. If you regret an incident, it’s because you didn’t learn from it. If you learnt something, some kind of lesson, then you should by no means live with any kind of regret, instead, you have gotten first-hand experience and wisdom on that issue.

My favourite piece I came across this week was from Omaritani, it says;

To have some regrets is normal and healthy. In fact, a small dose of regret is considered a positive “negative emotion.” It helps you make sense of the world, gain insight into what matters to you, and avoid future negative behaviours.

HOW TO DEAL WITH REGRET IN YOUR CAREER

1. Acceptance: Denial can be destructive. It’s better to recognize and take note of your failures and regrets. Acceptance is the first step in moving forward. When you become aware and accept your situation, you can then find solutions to the issue.
2. Seek out advice from a Mentor: Talking to older professionals in the industry helps provide clarity. At some point, I remember having regrets in my career concerning some failed projects and I spoke to two industry professionals closer to me. They provided insights and shared similar situations which really motivated me to move on.
3. Don’t be afraid to move on: A while ago, I watched Charlie Young’s YT Video asking young millionaires tips on how to be successful, one of them mentioned, “Risks and Flexibility”. To be successful, you have to train yourself to be flexible and accept risks. Career transformation is not as daunting as it seems. You can have a successful career change by assessing your interests, skills and considering alternative careers. As Charles Schwab worded it, “A man can succeed at almost anything for which he has unlimited enthusiasm”. Moving on from a place or experience can be sad sometimes, even when it isn’t beneficial to us. I know of a person who had a toxic experience from her workplace and eventually resigned. People around her berated her for leaving, stating that she could have endured it all, almost making her regret her decision. You shouldn’t be afraid of leaving a workplace due to the difference in values and standards you have. Now, this person is aware of how to handle situations with toxic colleagues and knows how to spot an unsafe organisation from a mile away. Instead of spending her coming days regretting working there, she held onto the valuable lessons she got on the way and is more knowledgeable on handling and managing toxicity from the workplace.

The takeaway from this is that Regrets only apply when we don’t learn from situations, and situations beget valuable experiences and lessons.